Life: Define Success

As may be obvious from my previous post, I am trying to figure out how to make the work-life balance thing work, and trying to find out what would give me the most satisfaction--where I can say this is how I wish to live my life--and steer my life towards that direction.

Well, I came across this talk by John Wooden, a teacher and a basketball coach. He talked about true success. His tips are pretty simple, though of course still hard to live by. His talk, well, he looked boring at first, but it's actually a humorous talk, and easy to understand. Grabe, he's simply one of the smartest senior citizens I have heard so far.

My favorite quotes from the talk are:

• "Never try to be better than someone else. ... Never cease trying to be the best you can be."
• "Never be late." and
• those on having patience and keeping the faith.

If you have about 20 minutes to spare, watch this video. If not, just read the transcript. (Click the interactive script button at the bottom of the video.)

http://www.ted.com/talks/john_wooden_on_the_difference_between_winning_and_success.html

Enjoy!

Faith: Prayer of Rupert Meyer

I found this prayer while reading FB wall posts and updates. Just wanted to share it here.

PRAYER OF RUPERT MEYER

Lord, what You will let it be so

Where You will there we will go

What is Your will help us to know

Lord, when You will the time is right

In You there's joy in strife

For Your will I'll give my life

To ease Your burden brings no pain

To forego all for You is gain

As long as I in You remain

Because You will it, it is best

Because You will it, we are blest

Till in Your hands our hearts find rest

Till in Your hands our hearts find rest

Faith: Disturbing the Already Disturbed

This morning, I attended the Pasig Feast. During Bro. Obet's talk, they flashed a prayer, and we were asked to read parts of it. The prayer was "Disturb us, O Lord."

I've encountered the prayer before. And while I was reading it aloud together with the other attendees, I somehow stopped and stared at the lines. My friend, who was sitting beside me, I realized, also stopped reading. Then we both laughed.

As it is, our lives are already disturbed. Actually, we don't know if we want more disturbances right now. Haha!

But I still posted parts of it on my Facebook account. And I am writing about it here. Because some lines struck me:

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,

To venture on wilder seas

Where storms will show Your mastery...

I just thought I'd hang on to my edited Prayer No. 1. I don't understand why things happened the way they did, and whether there's even a purpose for it. But maybe, just maybe, it's one of those few things with a purpose indeed, and it will unfold in time.

I'm hanging on to hope. Sana it is granted. Not just for me and my siblings. Above all, it's for my parents. Mataray man ako at matigas ang ulo, love ko sila. I am praying for their happiness, for the best that life can still offer them.

I know at a certain point, I need to let go and let God. I can't keep telling God what to do. I just need to ask, and now that I have, to just trust Him. Argh. This is difficult to someone like me who wants to be in control of things. Grrr.

Pero fine. I'm trying. Really. I mean I will try, starting tonight.

Below is the complete text of the prayer. (Copied from http://churchedge.blogspot.com/2007/11/disturb-us-o-lord.html)

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
with the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.

We ask you to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push back the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

This we ask in the name of our Captain,
Who is Jesus Christ.

Sir Francis Drake

Life and Faith: Surrendering Your Dream

In my previous entries, I have been talking about frustrations, disappointments, doubts, questions.

Tonight, I came across Bo Sanchez's article Have You Surrendered Your Dreams to God?. And many things he said rung true for me. But this line particularly stung:

I want you to say this prayer to God right now: “Lord, I’m trusting you. I’ll still seek my dream with joyful passion, but I will surrender my attachment to the details of my dream. I will open myself to your wonderful surprises.”

Gradually, I am learning how to do this. Ang saya lang ng feeling when, after several disappointments, I realized that I still had the same dreams. But I still need to learn more about being detached, about taking care of myself, about having fun while pursuing what you want.

Yun lang. I'm just enlightened and happy. :)

Have You Surrendered Your Dreams to God
http://bosanchez.ph/have-you-surrendered-your-dreams-to-god/

Faith/Music: Pilgrim's Theme

I love the refrain, and the a capella rendering of this song by Hangad (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsmkpnpar_U).....

Pilgrim's Theme

Tired of weaving dreams too loose for me to wear
Tired of watching clouds repeat their dance on air
Tired of getting tied to doing what's required
Is life a mere routine in the greater scheme of things?

Through with taking roads someone else designed
Through with chasing stars that soon forget to shine
Through with going through one more day - what's new?
Does my life still mean a thing in the greater scheme of things?

REFRAIN 1:
I think I'll follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
I hope to find my place
So my life can fall in place
I know in time I'll find my place
In the greater scheme of things

Each must go his way, but how can I decide?
Which path I should take, who will be my guide?
I need some kind of star to lead me somewhere far
To find a higher dream in the greater scheme of things

The road before me bends, I don't know what I'll find
Will I meet a friend or ghosts I left behind?
Should I even be surprised that You're with me in disguise?
For it's Your hand I have seen in the greater scheme of things (REFRAIN 1)

BRIDGE:
For Yours is the voice in my deepest dreams
You are the heart, the very heart
Of the greater scheme of things (REFRAIN 1)

REFRAIN 2:
Why don't we follow the voice that calls within
Dance to the silent song it sings
One day we'll find our place
For all things fall in place
For all things have a place
In the greater scheme of things



A view of the ceiling of the church in UP Diliman, a few weeks after Easter (May 2011)

Life: Life's Finite

Yesterday, I went to bed early. I was tired, and also not feeling very well.

A thought was also bugging me, and kept me from having a good rest.

Life is finite. What if I don’t live till I’m 30? What if one day I am told that I am terminally ill?

My grandma died from breast cancer. That somehow bothered me. I know that having a history of cancer in the family means it can happen to us too.

So again, the question: What if one day I find out that I am sick and will not live long?

I felt scared. From the double-decker bed where I sleep at the boarding house, I stared out the window.

Life is finite.

But I dared ask myself, what will I do?

Somehow, I reassured myself I would still be okay. There are MANY things I haven’t done yet, many places I haven’t been to, many dreams I would so badly want to see happen. You see, I have listed my dreams down last year. And everyday of my life, I try to do what I should do to make those come true. This, somehow, made me feel better: I am living my life as I have chosen, I am giving it my best, I am learning and trying to be a better person, I am living life exactly as I had dreamed.

If God says, “Time’s up!” life will find me in the exact path where I wanted to be right now. Of course, by choosing this path, I gave up others—other opportunities, other experiences, other places I would have been to. Even within this path, there is so much more I haven’t reached nor done yet. But then again, at 27, I was given many things. I have seen enough miracles, I guess. And if life ends, I will probably have several regrets, but happy enough to say I lived a life that made some sense.

What else will I do?

I will probably make a few adjustments in my schedule and my life. But I will do what I am doing now, plus a few more things if time permits. I will keep pursuing the career I wanted, going places, eating, spending time with friends, probably a bit more time with my family, taking a walk once in a while, writing, reading. I will spend each moment living in the now, whilst also pursuing those dreams I have listed down.

Then, I reassured myself, it wouldn’t be so bad. Life’s a lease. If I had been given almost 3 decades to live, I should be grateful. I am grateful.

I also told myself that with or without an illness, I cannot claim I will still be alive tomorrow. Anything can happen. Life remains to have limits, I am simply not so aware of it.

Did I feel like I wanted to fast-track everything so I get to do more? A bit, yes.

It was a morbid thing to think about. But somehow I am glad I am thinking about it. It made me more aware of my priorities.

I am where I want to be. I may not be at my desired destination or goal yet, but I am on my way. If life ends and I never make it there, I will still be thankful. The path, and the people I have met, are worth it, and for the most part, have been worth the sacrifices. (Although I did wish I would meet the man of my dreams before I move to the next life. It would have been a big loss for him never to have met me, haha. Just kidding.)

I somehow felt I loved life more now that I am more aware it can end anytime.

But I do wish to make more improvements. I’d like to love more. As a line in the song "Seasons of Love" from the musical Rent goes:

Measure your life in love.

I try to love by being able to provide for my family. I think that’s important but not enough. I am trying to do more. To give more time, to listen, to have more kind words to say.

Sana I am doing things right. While I do have a tendency for drama, I usually am not fond of grand acts, just small gestures of love, kindness, and gratefulness.

Despite all the self-assurances, I still felt scared last night. I prayed, not for strength, but just for Him to be there while I sleep. I just need to be assured He’s there and I will not be alone. I am probably nowhere near being an ideal Catholic or Christian, but I do hope that as I do what I do well and makes me happy, I am also able to serve, and be an instrument.

Spiritual Workout Day 3: Following Him

Among the verses for Day 3, the one that touched me most was:

"Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also will my servant be." (John 12: 26)

And I do not have much of a reflection. Only that following Him is usually difficult. At times you don't understand why something is not allowed. At times you have to go against what everyone is doing or believes to be right. At times you just feel like rebelling against the rules.

I just have one short prayer. For faith, that we may believe and obey though we do not always understand. For guidance, on those times when we couldn't figure out what we should do. For strength, to be able to do what should be done. For a capacity to forgive, others and ourselves, for the shortcomings. And when we falter, the wisdom to learn from our mistakes and stand up and start again. Amen.

Spiritual Workout Day 2: Love Lets You Choose

The readings for Day 2 brought to mind two things. One is that love lets you choose. The other is why it is difficult to choose right over wrong.

Love lets you choose

Let me relate this to my Day 1 post. We are in the heart of God. He loves us, but He never required us to love Him back. By giving us free will, He allowed us to choose to believe in Him, or to choose not to. So in effect, you can actually choose not to love Him back, not to pray, not to have faith. But He'd continue loving you and blessing you anyway.

What is beautiful about free will and unconditional love is that it allows you to grow, to learn things on your own, to make mistakes. An opportunity to understand why the rules say you shouldn't do this or that. I am not trying to defend sin or rule-breaking. I have just learned that some of us will not listen until we hit rock bottom, until we learn things the hard way.

But more than this, you are free to choose to love Him back. To accept Him into your life. While we are all receiving blessings whether we are believers or not, it is only when we open are hands and hearts to Him that some blessings are finally able to pour in. Like peace. Like more love. Like faith. Like more strength.

"When the soul is ready, the blessing will appear." God lets us take our time, until we are ready to accept Him, allow Him to be part of our lives. When we don't feel Him at all, it may not be because He is not there, but because we have not allowed Him to come in.

Trying to be good is not a guarantee of a happy life

I don't know if I am just being a bit pessimistic this time. But I have learned that being good and trying to do what is right is definitely not easy. Even if you don't mean any harm, people will find reasons to hate you. Even if your intentions are good, you will be misinterpreted. People you love and care for will not always appreciate what you are doing. Not to mention the pressure to do what is wrong just to conform. And of course, with our own shortcomings and lack of understanding, we will inevitably make mistakes along the way.

I was taught that God blesses both the good and the bad. But if this is so, why choose to be good? Mahirap kaya! And besides, they said following God will not erase your problems anyway (baka dumami pa nga eh!). So why follow Him at all?!!!

Actually, I don't have an answer, well at least not a religious one. To me, it boiled down to choosing to be the person you wish to be. It is a choice of character, of the kind of life you'd like to live, of the meaning you wish your life to have. The rewards of choosing good is in the choice itself--it shapes who you are and how you see yourself.

And while there is no guarantee that the good you do will always be appreciated, I believe it can go a long way. You will never know who among the people you met today you have touched, and will touch others in the future. Sometimes, the only way to thank God for His love is to pass it on.