Work: A Researcher's Confession

A more flexible schedule than what others have.

A more lenient working environment.

Working outside the office. Travelling. Going places. Learning something new about the world, about the research community, almost everyday.

Talking to people from all walks of life.

Laughter. Food trip.

Spending days, even weeks in communities as you do your research.

My work as research in the social development realm has been an exciting one.

But much as I love this job, I do go through low points as well.

When I have to deal with people I don't feel comfortable dealing with.

When I have to be on fieldwork on a rainy or a hot summer day.

When flexi-time also means waking up too early or working til late night, and even on weekends and holidays.

When you start feeling like the pay is not catching up with inflation, or no longer compensates for all the pagod.

When, after several days of fieldwork, and with several issues still cropping up but had to be dealt with, you are just tired, quite frustrated (with yourself, with others, with the world), and tanned (i.e., you had too much exposure to the sun your lotion's SPF was no match to the demands of your work, and you forgot to bring your umbrella).

Yun lang. Maybe, after I've had enough rest and sleep, I'd feel better.

And it really helps to have great people around you.

And despite all the frustrations, you find yourself in the desk, doing your field notes. Keeping track of field expenses. Answering your boss' email. And taking note of to-do's for tomorrow.

Yeah, despite all my complaints and my rants that I'd be a barista na lang next time, I love this job. And that is something I hope to always remember, even if one day I decide to take another path.

Food: Lydia's in Noveleta, Cavite

One of the best things about being on fieldwork, especially outside Metro Manila, is the food.

My officemate and I were recently assigned to a research site in Cavite. Noveleta, a municipality in Cavite, is one of our stops, as this is where the bus drops us off and then we take the minibus to our research area.

Colleagues from the agency we were working with introduced us to Lydia's, an airconditoned eatery only about a block away from the Noveleta municipal hall. I think their fried chicken is even better than McDonald's or Jollibee's. And their pancit, which they had in different varieties, was also good. And we also loved the chicaro with liver. Super. The chicharo was crunchy, cooked just right, and they had a generous serving of liver.

We've been there several times already. Maybe next time we'll try other food on their menu. :) And there's a tapsilog-an nearby, we were told. Hmm, we'll try that one of these days. Anyway, we will be there till the end of the year!

Pictures will have to follow at another time. I do not have the energy to upload them now. :))

Contentment: Icing on top of an already delicious cake

For most of my life, I believed I should strive to be a better person. So I worked hard. I always had a list of goals. Even if people would say I'm good at something, I did not feel contented. I wanted to be even better.

As you age, hehe, I think you just get tired of the race. And you reach a point when you realize that there is no such destination as "perfect" and "good enough."

And one of the best blessings I've had lately, I guess, is the feeling that I do not have to be perfect, I do not have to have it all. This is enough. I have enough. I am enough.

Like when a guy from another agency we were working with pointed out I have new "nunal" on my face, referring to my pimple. And I just brushed off his remark. I was quite pissed off, because that was the second time he was making remarks on my physical imperfections. But it revealed less about me, but more about himself and the way he sees or assesses other people.

But what surprised me about this is the way I reacted to his remark. Before, this would have made me feel self-conscious or would have started my mind into going through a long list of what I believe are my flaws. But now, I cared less. I know I am not a very eye-catching or attractive lady. But I am happy with what I have, and have vowed to make the most out of it.

That feeling of being enough definitely beats having the beauty of a top model. :P

And I'd like to share this post I read. It resonates with the message of this post. http://zenhabits.net/improve/

I know I will not stop working to be better. As my responsibilities grow, there are skills and aspects of my character I need to develop further to be able to do my job well. But I hope never to forget that I am enough right now, and I'd like to move forward from a place of confidence in what I can do, from a sense of "enough-ness" rather than from a feeling of lack and of not being good enough. And I hope to keep in mind that whatever new skills I learn, whatever changes I introduce into my life, they are merely icing on top of an already delicious cake.

This, whatever "this" is, is perfect

This morning, I was feeling tired and a bit sick. And I guess it did affect my mood. I was wishing several things about my life were different.

Then I read this post. And the timing couldn't have been more perfect. Whatever I need to do or am doing now is simply exactly what I need to do.

Lovely thought.

http://zenhabits.net/happy/

Happy Sunday!

Food: Sinigang

This was quite an exhausting but another fulfilling and fun fieldwork day at Cavite.

Pero I managed to cook something for my dinner. Well, I've been planning to cook sinigang since last week, but couldn't find the time. Tonight, I resolved I will either eat canned goods or cook and eat something more decent and healthy.

This is not my first sinigang, but this is the first decent one, if I remember it correctly. Tama lang ang asim at alat sa panlasa ko. Siguro mas mainam kung mas malambot pa nang onti ang meat.

Pero all in all, masarap siya.

At shempre, I got a complement from my housemate. For the effort I put into trying to learn how to cook. Ehem. Well, that really made me feel better.

At least may guts na kong magluto at magkamali. Who ever said nerds are only good in school? And why the heck did I avoid cooking during home economics classes in high school? Tsk, shouldn't have. If I had even showered cooking a bit of my risk taker attitude (which I think I only used in pursuing my dreams), hay naku, I'd be cooking special dishes by now.

Pero ok lang. One step at a time.

Last year I learned I can jog more than 2 kilometers nonstop.

This year, I had the guts to say: I can learn how to cook!

Looking forward to breaking more of those limiting beliefs I have about myself. :))

But it really helps when you can finally tell yourself: okay lang magkamali. Di masamang pumalpak sa kusina.

And in my case tonight, I have backup food, just in case my sinigang turns out to be "not for human consumption." :)

An Upset Stomach on a Rainy Day

As we begin another research project, today's meeting was supposed to be among the most important activities we have to observe. The meeting is 8am. Travel time to the venue is more than 2 hours.

So, at 5am, I knew my stomach's in no condition, and I was feeling dizzy but I still dragged myself out of bed. It was raining and it's February, so it's quite cold as I hurriedly took a shower. Because it's cold and I'm going to be late and I want to be at the MRT station before the rush hour.

I took a cab to the train station. I was hoping that after I drink softdrinks (which had been my sort of remedy in the past for situations like this) I'd be fine. But it didn't work. Dizzy and still couldn't stand for too long. I went back to the boarding house just in time to, you know. Hehehe. I told my research partner I can't come, so she went on her own.

I spent the entire morning in bed, feeling weak and with a bad headache. But I got up around lunchtime because I have a meeting in the afternoon.

I was feeling quite better by then. The research meeting was fun. And we were asked to attend a talk to about Jesuit education in the 1800s. That was quite informative.

For dinner, I had soup and scrambled eggs. Now I'm taking coffee. Not my usual dinner. But I think my stomach's not yet ready to "work hard" so I need to eat less tonight.

Oh, and it was still raining when we left the office. Till I got home. And I forgot my keys so I had to call my housemate to have the door opened.

Yes, this is not my idea of a perfect day. But somehow, I just feel happy. Blessed. And I can't understand why. I was a little bit irritated also about a slight problem a while ago.

I guess you just have to go with the ebb and flow of life. Everything will still be alright.

And it helps to have positive and fun and simply great people around you. They cheer you up. And they lighten the load.

The Simple Life

Today, I decided to change my blog's title and layout to be more consistent with my recent goal.

I wanted to learn to live simply and CALMLY. I have been reading posts from zenhabits.net, and have been trying to follow some of the blogger's tips, including starting your day early and calmly, keeping things tidy, cutting your to-do list.

And I'd have to say I'm happier. With how I'm spending each day for the past two weeks. Of course at times I still feel the urge to try pack too many tasks within a short span of time. And I still can't wake up early. But I'm trying. And doing better. (hehehe)

Sana tuloy-tuloy na ito. I love this sane life I have right now. It's more productive, happier, more calm. :)

Others: 1.5 rounds, roughly 3 k

I have to put this on record. Ehem.

Last Thursday and Sunday, I was able to jog, non-stop, around UP's oval. 1 1/2 rounds. The last time I was able to do this, I was already ready to collapse, but last week, I was VERY tired but at least I did not feel as weak as before.

1 1/2 rounds is roughly about 3 kilometers. :) To someone who did not really grow up loving or performing well in PE, this is an achievement! Before, I could only run for a few meters, then I'd stop. I can't go beyond 500 meters. Lalo naman 1 k. So... :)))

Yun lang. Just felt happy. I am tempted to push myself further and jog nonstop for 2 rounds. But I know I'm not supposed to. Minsan, rushing to get things done or to get better takes the fun out of what you wish to do/accomplish. At least this is true for me.

Oh well, got to get moving. It's a beautiful Monday morning. I hope to make more progress writing those overdue reports. :)