Sunday, February 19, 2012

Contentment: Icing on top of an already delicious cake

For most of my life, I believed I should strive to be a better person. So I worked hard. I always had a list of goals. Even if people would say I'm good at something, I did not feel contented. I wanted to be even better.

As you age, hehe, I think you just get tired of the race. And you reach a point when you realize that there is no such destination as "perfect" and "good enough."

And one of the best blessings I've had lately, I guess, is the feeling that I do not have to be perfect, I do not have to have it all. This is enough. I have enough. I am enough.

Like when a guy from another agency we were working with pointed out I have new "nunal" on my face, referring to my pimple. And I just brushed off his remark. I was quite pissed off, because that was the second time he was making remarks on my physical imperfections. But it revealed less about me, but more about himself and the way he sees or assesses other people.

But what surprised me about this is the way I reacted to his remark. Before, this would have made me feel self-conscious or would have started my mind into going through a long list of what I believe are my flaws. But now, I cared less. I know I am not a very eye-catching or attractive lady. But I am happy with what I have, and have vowed to make the most out of it.

That feeling of being enough definitely beats having the beauty of a top model. :P

And I'd like to share this post I read. It resonates with the message of this post. http://zenhabits.net/improve/

I know I will not stop working to be better. As my responsibilities grow, there are skills and aspects of my character I need to develop further to be able to do my job well. But I hope never to forget that I am enough right now, and I'd like to move forward from a place of confidence in what I can do, from a sense of "enough-ness" rather than from a feeling of lack and of not being good enough. And I hope to keep in mind that whatever new skills I learn, whatever changes I introduce into my life, they are merely icing on top of an already delicious cake.



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